he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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