Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
