Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
