here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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