btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He kissed a someone with a penis
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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