have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
