You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
