dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
