made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
