Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
