is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dick very happy bro
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
