I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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