She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
