Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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