somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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