i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
