I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
