One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This baby is an asshole
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
