i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
