As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
