Screwed.edu
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
