My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
