I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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