is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
