Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
