she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
