I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
