But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
