Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
