i can't believe i had my finger in that
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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