I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
