Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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