Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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