I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
