well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You need Xanax blowdarts
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
