I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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