Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What a dumb baby whore.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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