I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
