The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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