And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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