3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
