he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
