one word: firstdatebathroomanal
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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