Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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