last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
