May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
