How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
