You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
