Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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