tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
