I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
