This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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