Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
