The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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