She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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