She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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