I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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